Conversations with Carolyn

Get the Pieces of the Puzzle on the Table

While teams are made up of individuals, each member is part of a dynamic, interdependent system. The person you think is missing the point may be suffering from being squeezed out of information flow and work by competitive colleagues trying to edge out a rising young millennial on the team. The person who is so quiet may be preoccupied, having learned that a colleague who will be quitting in two weeks asked them to keep it secret.

Tune In and Level Up Your Meetings

Communication takes place in many forms and is a critical input in connecting and understanding one another. Bats operate through an incredible and sophisticated sonar system, where they fly using signals that bounce back from the environment around them. We, too, need to pay attention to signals. People communicate in many ways beyond just verbal. Listen to pauses, pace, tone and body language, as well as the words. Effective Conversation Leaders rely on what they hear, see and sense.

Navigating Group Decision-Making Well

There’s a time for blue-sky thinking, brainstorming and idea generation. And there’s a time for making choices, setting priorities, and separating what’s mission-critical from ideas for another time. Knowing when to shift from one thought process to another can feel messy, confusing and confronting. This is where your surfing skills will be tested.

The Power of Acknowledging Others

Have you ever spoken up to give an idea, and the Conversation Leader just continued? Whether your idea was ignored entirely, or the group leader ran with it without even a nod in your direction, the lack of acknowledgement creates disconnection and a disinclination to offer your input as freely or enthusiastically the next time. Don’t take others for granted. Regularly acknowledging their input helps ensure you’ll continue to get it.

The Key to Effective Conversations: Listening

Listening feels like it should be a natural skill, but it isn’t. Too often – particularly in the workplace – we think that we’re listening when we’re only listening to judge, compare other’s thoughts to our own, or simply prepare to continue expressing our views. It’s natural to listen through our filters, biases, experiences and agendas.

3 Key Elements for Leading by Example

As the Conversation Leader, you set the bar. Your presence creates an ecosystem for participants to work together. If you’ve been a parent, you already know that children will do as you do and not as you say. As a role model for listening, acknowledging, contributing, and questioning, participants will follow your lead, so be mindful of the example you set.

Maintain Your Leadership Engine

As the Conversation Leader, you are the engine that drives the whole process of the meeting. Your energy and presence create the ecosystem for you and your group to do the work. If your tank is empty, you aren’t going anywhere, and neither are your participants.
Part of your meeting preparation is to ensure you are ready to show up fully for your group. What do you need to do to ensure you can show up at your meeting prepared and focused on what you need to accomplish?

Set the Bar

Calibrating yourself before you start your meeting is the equivalent of stretching your muscles before you run a sprint. If you don’t do it, chances are you’ll walk into your conversation carrying a whole lot of baggage from previous experiences and perspectives. You’re starting the conversation weighed down with:

Surf’s Up!

When leading Conversations that Count, you need to be fully calibrated to the group and the purpose of your meeting. The first area that needs attention is your inner landscape. It takes a certain level of self- awareness and humility to pause and assess your internal thoughts, feelings and beliefs. It involves shifting or setting them aside so they don’t become a barrier to being fully present and effective with the people in your conversation.

Expect the Unexpected

Don’t expect your agenda to unfold exactly as planned. When it comes to group dynamics, you can expect a few curveballs, detours, and unexpected bumps on the road. For a Conversation Leader struggling to get the group on-topic, it might be more important to throw out your pre-designed agenda. It is completely normal that the conversation isn’t always linear, differences of opinions get expressed, and people aren’t sure what to do next.